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DEAR ABBY: How can I plan and enjoy holidays at my home with my three adult children? One daughter and her husband always find ways to hold imaginary grudges against our other two daughters. This daughter claims to be always left out, yet she never reaches out to her sisters or even to me and her dad. She and her husband fabricate things that aren’t true and stop communicating with everyone. We are always left in the dark.
This has been going on during her entire married life. My husband and I have health issues and no longer want to deal with her childish drama. We would like to have all of us together for holiday get-togethers but can’t because of their hard feelings over imaginary slights. — DISCOURAGED IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR DISCOURAGED: If this has been going on ever since your daughter married her husband, he may be the one stirring the pot. It’s a shame because what he’s really doing is isolating her. I am sorry you didn’t mention how you handle these temporary estrangements. My advice is to be your warm, friendly self. Continue inviting your daughter to these family get-togethers. If she shows up, great. If she doesn’t, celebrate without her, which might be easier considering the tension she brings with her.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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