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“I Never Said I Love You” is the debut novel of Sarah Magee, a University of Michigan alum and former writer for The Michigan Daily who graduated in 2002. She describes her book as both a love story and a love letter to Ann Arbor, which perfectly captures the heart of this story. Set against a poignantly and nostalgically painted backdrop, I can hardly believe it’s describing the same Ann Arbor I walk through every day. The two main characters — Liss Miller and Nao Kao Inthavong — are drawn to each other despite their conflicting personalities and vastly different upbringings.
“I Never Said I Love You” follows the perspectives of Liss and Nao Kao, jumping between their days in graduate school at the University during the early 2000s and their reunion 20 years later, shortly after the pandemic. While Liss is a passionate worldwide traveler raised in Ann Arbor, Michigan, Nao Kao hails from war-torn Laos, coming to the U.S. with hopes of advancing his country’s development with his newfound American education on policy and governance. The two go from classmates discussing academics to friends who share ice cream on hot summer days to a star-crossed love affair, eventually just becoming reminders of each other’s fond memories of graduate school. Their interactions are played out with a strong sense of cultural awareness that nods to the importance of having a global perspective when forming human connections. The book’s conversations not only reflect a broad understanding of others but also showcase how empathy and adaptability come in when learning about new cultures.
In addition to the shifting perspectives and timelines, the book is also organized into three larger parts, each delineating a new stage in Liss and Nao Kao’s relationship.
In the first part, aptly labeled “Friends,” Liss and Nao Kao become closer at the end of their first semester in grad school, exchanging stories about their respective lives over ice cream, takeout at the Union and plates of pad thai. We learn quickly that Nao Kao is married with twin baby girls. This becomes a resistive force when they fall in love at the very place he moved to for the explicit purpose of providing a better life for his family, a family he’d be putting behind for Liss.
Throughout the book, but especially during this first section, it’s clear the author did extensive research on Laos, about the people’s connection to the land, the state of its economy when compared to the United States and the consequences it faced as a result of the Vietnam War. This strengthened the tangibility of Nao Kao’s background, with their cultural conversations showing their genuine interest in learning about their disparate backgrounds.
The second part, “Lovers,” is an exhilarating turn into pleasure bookended by the complexities of navigating a secret love affair. Whereas Liss has to be careful of anyone finding out about their unique and scandalous relationship, Nao Kao is 9,000 miles away from home, making him feel untethered from his husbandly duties. I thought about the multiplicity of love languages and the confusing norms of modern relationships as Liss and Nao Kao defined love and intimacy in every way of expression but spoken word during their time together. Even though Nao Kao thought it was blatantly obvious that he was expressing his sincere affections, what Liss received was a vague message wondering where she stood in his life. Oftentimes, how we want to give love is different from how we want to receive it, creating unnecessary misunderstandings with emotionally powerful consequences.
We now live in a society with notoriously complicated relationships and ‘What are we’ memes. Magee explores this trend considerably in her book. Even after evenings of making love, thoughtful gifts on Valentine’s Day and emotionally intimate conversations, Liss can’t help but wonder what Nao Kao saw in her, as evidenced by her many conversations circling around this topic with her therapist. If neither party ever expressed a heartfelt “I love you” in the entire book, then what were they to each other, if not very close friends with benefits?
During the last part of the book, “Ghosts,” our two fated characters meet again, reminiscing over past memories — both the good and the bad — and creating new ones in Laos together. At this point in the book Liss is 43 and working in higher education as a director of international programs and Nao Kao is the vice rector at the National University of Laos. Their reason for meeting? Developing programming for study abroad programs in Southeast Asia. What was initially just a business meeting turns into a trip that reignites past feelings and curiosities as they explore the temples, lush gardens and night markets of Laos. This section is rife with reflections on life in mid-adulthood and learning to live with choices made, whether it be choosing a significant other, selecting practicality over passion when building a career or questioning ourselves on what we don’t know that we know.
Although the characters were well-developed and Magee’s prose was both eloquent and picturesque, I felt the story was a bit slow at times. With the author’s style of descriptive and rhythmic writing, I couldn’t help but wonder how the storytelling could have been elevated as narrative poetry, a more pliable form of writing that expresses compelling stories through poems. The broad ruminations about life in the context of “I Never Said I Love You” could have been unique and thought-provoking poems indeed, rather than spirals in Liss’s mind and repeated conversations throughout the book.
In poetry format, I would have been encouraged to take the time to understand the author’s intent behind the word choice, figurative language and rhythm of the words. Reading it as a novel, however, I felt that I was doing a disservice to the author by not taking the time to appreciate each sentence on the colorful fall leaves in Ann Arbor or the mouthwatering descriptions of airplane desserts served in first-class, international flights. Themes like the comfort of travel routines, ripples of life decisions over time and the ephemeral beauty of Ann Arbor during each of the four seasons could have been turned into beautiful poems, rather than repetitive descriptions that appeared in almost every chapter. The biggest idea was unspoken love, and I wish that was delved into more detail rather than remaining a regret in Liss’s thoughts.
“I Never Said I Love You” wasn’t a novel I ripped through quickly, as I instead slowly digested the beauty of Magee’s words. It’s a comfort read for any students or alumni at the University of Michigan, as well as anyone who feels a connection to the uniqueness of Ann Arbor if they don’t mind a slower pace. Although I personally feel the narrative stories might be better appreciated as poetry, as Magee’s first book, I’m excited to see what’s next in her writing journey.
Daily Arts Writer Michelle Wu can be reached at michewu@umich.edu.
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