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DEAR ABBY: I’ve been with my husband for 16 years. He has two children, ages 17 and 19. Every year, he spends the major holidays with his ex and his kids. I can’t go with him because his ex has ruined any chance of my having a relationship with his children. Frankly, they hate me and blame me for their parents’ divorce.
I have five children. I make time for them at holidays, but I prioritize my husband. I don’t think he should be doing this. Am I wrong? He’s done it for 16 years. I mention it every year, and he always says next year will be different. Please tell me your thoughts. — MISSING HIM THEN IN WASHINGTON
DEAR MISSING: This year won’t be different, and neither will the ones after. My question to you is, WERE you responsible for breaking up his marriage? According to the mail I have received over the years, many marriages were over long before either spouse filed for divorce. If the “kids” are right, they aren’t going to change their attitude at this late date. If, however, you were blameless, their father should have straightened them out when they were old enough to understand.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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