Finding community and love with other people

I used to count the stars next to the moon and wonder if they talked to each other. 

The stars carried their own stories and one day I would have my own story to tell.

I am 22.

Just 4 years ago, I was terrified of having no one to blow my candles out with.

It’s already hard to come from such a different place — something that I talk about almost all the time. Everything that happened before my time here could have never prepared me for a place that is deficient of light — of love.

A day is no longer 24 hours. The same stars I would sleep to are missing from the sky. Nothing is there. How am I meant to love without the means to experience it?

It’s so different. It’s scary. It’s isolating. 

Maybe the fault was written in the stars. But just because something ends, doesn’t mean it must end terribly.

My mom always told me you can’t force friends. People that matter will come. 

And they did. 

I didn’t have to explain anything — they were just there. It’s not as scary as I thought it would be.

I’ve found myself enveloped in my friends’ blankets on cold Wednesday nights. 

Asleep in their studios even if they weren’t there, but their comfort was. 

Tarot card readings on mattresses to understand why I feel the way I do.

Rewatching High School Musical 3 (the better movie).

They do my hair and I clean their dishes.

It’s reciprocal, not mandatory.

I am reminded of what community is meant to be; a place for all of us to belong.

I fear it was all based in proximity; I could practically see them everyday. 

But our love was more than just the distance. A phone call, a video call, taking the bus just to see each other for 2 hours. Everything added up and made sense. Even if we were light years away, we would flash a light proving we heard each other.

I realized all the choices we’ve made led us to each other.

I’ve made my own constellations down on Earth; stories soon to be told to other generations. 

Love becomes cyclical, and it’s something I choose every day.

You love someone as they love you — you learn all the reasons as to why you should love yourself along the way. 

MiC Columnist Naomi Rodriguez can be reached at nerf@umich.edu.

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