“Honey Don’t!” opens with a two-minute long title sequence. At first, it’s charming: We get a gorgeous mural of the three main characters painted on the side of a building. The shot then progresses into a series of faux-vintage shots of mid-20th-century Americana, the film crew’s names cleverly rotoscoped over various street signs or writings on ratty buildings. It’s clearly meant to embody the aesthetics of the movie — a tongue-in-cheek spin on a Hollywood editing cliché. And it’s fun — until a good 30 seconds later, when you’re still seeing names, and you begin to wonder if you somehow blacked out and skipped ahead to the end credits without knowing.
The title sequence alone establishes the pattern for the rest of the movie. “Honey Don’t!” is light-hearted, unconventional and satirical, but also incredibly full of itself. Director Ethan Coen is known for his work on critically-acclaimed films like “Fargo” and “No Country for Old Men” and their signature dark humor. However, this film seems to concern itself more with aesthetics than substance. As a self-proclaimed enthusiast for campy movies, I was ready to settle down and watch “Honey Don’t!” with few expectations of what was to come, yet I still managed to come out disappointed and dissatisfied with the movie’s discombobulation.
Set in 2025, “Honey Don’t!” is a neo-noir detective drama revolving around Honey O’Donahue (Margaret Qualley, “The Substance”), a wisecracking, gun-wielding private investigator not unlike the Hardboiled Detective archetype. Right from the get-go, the film wastes no time telling the audience of Qualley’s beauty. Within a few minutes, we see her stepping into a crime scene with a red sundress, red heels and red lipstick, receiving a sleazy remark from a police detective. She draws the eyes of every person who walks into the room, man and woman, but doesn’t seem to care for any except those of her police detective contact, MG Falcone (Aubrey Plaza, “My Old Ass”).
Coen sets up a simple enough hook, with all of the right ingredients to make for a gender-subversive and popcorn-worthy detective cop film. The movie begins to lose its steam, however, when the actual plot is introduced. Much like any detective drama, one overarching homicide case drives the main plot of “Honey Don’t!” The death of Honey’s prospective client sets her on the trail of Reverend Drew (Chris Evans, “Materialists”), the leader of the Four-Way Temple, a group that disguises its drug-trafficking ring as a religious congregation. Along the way, we unravel a thread of missing persons and murder cases connected to each of Honey’s subsequent clients.
Yet, instead of coming apart smoothly, the thread becomes more and more tangled. We receive news of murders and kidnappings here and there, from the killing of client Mr. Siegfried’s (Billy Eichner, “Bros”) unfaithful partner to the disappearance of Honey’s niece Corinne (Talia Ryder, “Do Revenge”). Within the last 20 minutes, though, Coen throws it all away for a cheap plot twist. When the main antagonist is revealed, it’s difficult to act shocked. What’s more upsetting is the lack of plausibility backing the antagonist’s motives, so haphazardly thrown together that they would only make slightly more sense after rewatching the movie at least five more times.
To give credit where it’s due, the performances of the actors are easily the best part of the film. Qualley’s wit in delivering Honey’s iconic lines drove the movie’s entertainment value, and her questionable Texan accent — despite her character’s supposed upbringing in California — was more endearing than off-putting. Aside from this, Plaza’s chemistry with Qualley is electric, and Evans’ portrayal of the narcissistic, sex-obsessed Drew is absurdly comical.
That being said, Coen seems to be too busy patting himself on the back over the movie’s beautiful but superficial cinematography to make much use of the star-studded cast. The personality and appeal of the movie hinge on the enigmatic personality of Honey as well as the chemistry between her and MG. With a movie so closely tied to the titular main character, any scenes or plotlines that don’t center Honey fall apart. This includes Drew’s role in the movie; even with the comedic portrayal by Evans, it was difficult to stay engaged during scenes without Honey, and even harder to suspend my disbelief during the plot twist at the end.
The 89-minute runtime of the film was clearly not enough, but judging by the lack of plot or character development in the time it did have, it’s difficult to believe that adding a few more minutes would improve the movie’s quality very much, if at all.
Daily Arts Writer Nat Shimon can be reached at nshimon@umich.edu.
