<\/p>\n
\n\tOn a balmy July evening in New York City, I was lucky enough to be wandering around Greenwich Village with a coffee in hand, down a narrow street to the Minetta Lane (now Audible) Theatre to see Gloria Steinem<\/a> speak.<\/p>\n \n\tThose two shows on July 14 and 16 turned out to be her last major public event appearances before her passing on Sept. 2. She spoke on a range of topics, and the program will soon be released as an Audible Original on Sept. 17. Steinem recounted her early career in journalism and was asked about her ex-lovers, but what I walked away with was her enduring messages on the importance of being understood, community and togetherness. \u201cWe acquire a certain group of people who understand us and that\u2019s what keeps us going,\u201d she imparted.<\/p>\n \n\tThe event was titled \u201cYes to the Unknown: A Night with Gloria Steinem.\u201d After reading her work for years, if anyone could help me face some unknowns in my own life it would be her. Maybe just being in her presence would give my brain the sort of aha moment I was seeking. But rather than the imagined epiphany, I felt a sense of calmness and joy hearing her speak and being in her presence \u2014 an energy shift.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cSomewhere between poetry and journalism lies the magical land of quotes,\u201d Steinem once wrote in her 2019 book\u00a0The Truth Will Set You Free, But First It Will Piss You Off!<\/em>. She offered many of her own quotes that evening that have stayed with me. In that spirit of sharing quotes, those bits of humanity, I\u2019d like to recall a few from her final event. Her strength and wisdom is apparent in her facial expressions \u2014 she is as thoughtful as she listens as when she speaks.\u00a0What I remember from the event is how her genuine smile transcended time.\u00a0<\/p>\n \n\tA recording of writer, activist and longtime friend Alice Walker opened the night to a darkened room, her voice reverberated over the speakers with a moving poem that begins, \u201cShe is the one who will notice that the first snapdragon of spring is in bloom\u2026\u201d Lights illuminate back on to Steinem sitting on an orange velvet chair in a salon-like setting with photos and posters from her past on the backdrop.\u00a0<\/p>\n \n\tThe moderator, Amy Richards (a close friend and collaborator of Steinem as well as a writer and producer), opened the event by talking about her career in journalism, from her beginnings as a \u201cgirl reporter\u201d to helping start\u00a0New York\u00a0<\/em>magazine,\u00a0<\/em>which gave her a platform to help amplify the women\u2019s liberation movement and co-found\u00a0Ms.\u00a0<\/em>Magazine. Given there weren\u2019t many serious opportunities for women writers when she got started, Steinem remarked,\u00a0\u201cThat\u2019s part of the reason we started\u00a0New York<\/em>\u00a0magazine \u2014 to have a place where unexpected, diverse writers could actually write.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n \n\tIn working her way to breaking through in journalism, she wrote profiles, including on Barbra Streisand, Barbara Walters, James Baldwin and John Lennon (the 1964\u00a0Cosmopolitan<\/em>\u00a0cover of her profile of Lennon was on display at the event\u2019s backdrop, \u201cBeatle with a Future\u201d). In talking about how she learned more about the broader landscape of this musical world through writing this Lennon piece, she said, \u201cThat\u2019s the joy, actually, of being a writer, especially a freelance writer of diverse things, you get to learn continuously through your life.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n \n\tShe underlined her reverence for Baldwin, someone who she was able to profile early on for\u00a0Vogue<\/em>\u00a0and report on at the 1963 March on Washington.\u00a0\u201cI hope just saying his name again tonight causes those of you who might not yet have read his words to discover him,\u201d Steinem said.<\/p>\n \n\t\u201cHow I thought of writing as the main way of expressing myself, I\u2019m not sure. I think partly because my mother had been and loved being a reporter for the\u00a0Toledo Blade<\/em>\u00a0and I think I must have got infected with it then,\u201d Steinem said. She spoke about her mother and how much she loved writing and reporting \u2014 and how she had to give that up, much to her regret: \u201cShe should\u2019ve been able to do what she loved.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n \n\tSteinem has a way of giving hope when times feel hopeless, especially for writers and artists. She encouraged at the event, \u201cWe need your voice. We need your eyes and your heart and your way of seeing things that otherwise might never be known. So remember your favorite authors, whoever they are, and follow them and give us your voice.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n \n\tWhen asked about still living independently at 92, and if she ever gets lonely, she said there\u2019s \u201ca difference between lonely and free.\u201d And expressed gratitude again to her chosen family of friends: \u201cWe need to support each other in our choices \u2014 that\u2019s what friends are for, that kind of support that allows you to become the unique individual that you are.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tRichards said that Steinem recently made a list of all the former men in her life \u2014 they then went through and tried to fill in the gaps. As Richards went through some of the list that evening and named these men and asked Steinem about them, she responded with ease and a dry sense of humor. Steinem recounted a story, told a couple times, about being engaged but trying not to get married, so she made an escape to India for a couple years \u2014 which, she shared, was a very formidable time in her life as a writer and activist.\u00a0<\/p>\n \n\tShe didn\u2019t seem to be carrying any weight of these men around \u2014 not defining herself by them or her past but embracing them for the chapter they had in her life. She had nothing but positive things to say about each, saying she still is in touch with many of their families and created her chosen family through her relationships with them and many other close friends she made over the years.\u00a0<\/p>\n \n\tActress Keri Russell appeared a few times during the program to read former journalistic pitches of Steinem\u2019s from decades ago (including\u00a0Vogue<\/em>\u00a0expressing interest in her article suggestion of \u201chow to watch professional football games\u201d or her pitch of \u201cinteresting bathrooms of interesting people\u201d), letters to and from her ex-boyfriends as well as correspondences between her and Jane Fonda (Steinem, writing as part of a letter to Fonda: \u201cIt\u2019s odd how we only realize how powerful a force was in our lives after it is gone\u2026\u201d).\u00a0<\/p>\n \n\tIn tying in why solitary confinement is the worst possible punishment, Steinem spoke strongly about how \u201cwe are social creatures and we need each other\u201d \u2014 the oxytocin that is generated from us being together, that allows us to empathize. \u201cWhen I was home a lot and missing community, when I first left my apartment on the street, I would experiment with just talking to the first person I saw,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd I recommend this as an experiment. Because it\u2019s a surprise, it\u2019s a connection, it\u2019s empathy, it\u2019s countering isolation.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n \n\tIf anyone takes anything away from this article, it may be to try that exercise. In recent months, whenever I\u2019ve reached out to an old friend or colleague who I\u2019ve only met online to meet up in person, most of the time, the other person is excited to meet. It helps get past the overthinking that can sometimes come with online-only correspondence and forms a deeper connection.<\/p>\n \n\tSteinem has encouraged generations to nurture their relationships and build community. When asked about what we can do in these trying times she again said, \u201cWhat\u2019s precious is your feeling of being understood. You can\u2019t live without that.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\tThe last words read at the \u201cYes to the Unknown\u201d evening I attended was a poem titled \u201cFair Play\u201d written by Steinem and pitched to\u00a0The New Yorker\u00a0<\/em>in 1993 which, as Richards noted, the magazine rejected. (On Sept. 3, a day after her death,\u00a0The New Yorker<\/em>\u00a0published what it billed as \u201cGloria Steinem\u2019s Final Essay,\u201d in which she\u00a0writes<\/a>, \u201cStanding up for your own full humanity is an example you can give to others.\u201d)<\/p>\n \n\tFor me, the news of her passing hit just days after my own deep personal loss (my beloved dog, Leo, or as his friends called him, Camille). My heart already felt shattered yet completely open all at once. And Steinem\u2019s words have felt reaffirming in this time.<\/p>\n \n\tI am drawn to the imagery of what she noted at the July event when asked about making friendships across generations. She poetically said, \u201cI think there\u2019s an essence of us that comes along pretty early \u2014 different times for different people \u2014 and it\u2019s like reincarnation \u2014 we\u2019re not so much needing that person or learning about that person but remembering that person, and that is so precious.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n \n\tWhen asked about how she not only makes friendships but also keeps them, she said, \u201cMaking friendships is a little bit like falling in love. And even after maybe the love affair is over you still retain a deep sense of connection and personal recognition and understanding of that person.\u201d In remembering her mother and grandmother\u2019s beliefs in reincarnation, she added, \u201cI hope we\u2019re recognizing it more now that it\u2019s not just relations or marriage or obviously long friendships \u2014 that each of us leaves an understanding, a memory, a touch \u2014 something with each other.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" On a balmy July evening in New York City, I was lucky enough to be wandering around Greenwich Village with a coffee in hand, down a narrow street to the Minetta Lane (now Audible) Theatre to see Gloria Steinem speak. Those two shows on July 14 and 16 turned out to be her last major […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6357,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[328,5448,1419,100,5450,5449],"class_list":["post-6356","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-fashion","tag-event","tag-gloria","tag-public","tag-reflections","tag-shared","tag-steinem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tmbglobal.news\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6356","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tmbglobal.news\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tmbglobal.news\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tmbglobal.news\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tmbglobal.news\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6356"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tmbglobal.news\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6356\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6358,"href":"https:\/\/tmbglobal.news\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6356\/revisions\/6358"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tmbglobal.news\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6357"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tmbglobal.news\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6356"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tmbglobal.news\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6356"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tmbglobal.news\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6356"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}