‘Megalopolis’ is a disastrous spectacle. I had a great time.

About 40 years ago, Francis Ford Coppola (“Twixt”) had a brilliant idea. After wrapping up the nightmarish production of “Apocalypse Now,” Coppola began working on a script set closer to home. As a lifelong lover of Ancient Rome, Coppola refused to pass up the opportunity to direct a story about the Roman Republic. He thought of the politician Lucius Sergius Catilina and the statesman Marcus Tullius Cicero, and his mind raced at the relevance of their republic-ending rivalry to the American Republic. “Megalopolis” would be Coppola’s astute commentary on the political theater of America. No longer would he limit himself to the American Dream or the Vietnam War. He saw in Rome the state of the Union itself. However, struggling to attract producers, “Megalopolis” failed to materialize in the ’80s.

Now, in 2024, Coppola has finally realized the film of his dreams — though not without great personal and financial sacrifice. Unfortunately, even with the most charitable interpretation, “Megalopolis” is a disastrous spectacle, with an enormity of inane philosophy, technical incompetence and auto-fallacious filmmaking.

Traditionally, this is the part of the review where I would confidently summarize the plot. Horrifyingly, I can’t guarantee that I can confidently piece together the plot of “Megalopolis.” I left the theater dazed and confused, but it does seem that the film centers around four characters. Cesar Catilina (Adam Driver, “Ferrari”) is a supposedly brilliant architect whose vision of a utopia — built of the unbreakable material Megalon — requires the demolition of homes and buildings. This puts Cesar in hot water with Franklyn Cicero (Giancarlo Esposito, “MaXXXine”), the mayor of New Rome — a Rome-ified version of New York which some characters call “New York” several times in the film, seemingly not on purpose. Cicero has a personal vendetta against Cesar, and before becoming the mayor, he had investigated the death of Cesar’s wife. On top of that, Cicero’s beautiful but rowdy daughter Julia Cicero (Nathalie Emmanuel, “The Killer”) often goes clubbing with the incestuous entourage of Cesar’s relatives. The plot comes to a head when Julia falls in love with Cesar while one of his cousins, Clodio Pulcher (Shia LaBeouf, “Padre Pio”), gains tremendous popularity as a “Make Rome Great Again” politician.

If this web of details makes you wonder how the plot will untangle itself, then you’re already off the film’s wavelength: Over the 138-minute runtime, Coppola only spins a more convoluted web, trapping the film in the mess of his half-baked ideas. In the opening scene, Coppola introduces Cesar’s time-stopping superpower which, beyond being unexplained, barely has any thematic relevance. But “Megalopolis” gets even better. In the next scene, Mayor Cicero holds a conference in some indistinct warehouse for Cesar to explain his future plans. We are introduced to TV presenter Wow Platinum (Aubrey Plaza, “My Old Ass”), who happens to be Cesar’s mistress as well as the only reporter on the scene. After some political fist-waving, Cesar makes his grand entrance in a black trench coat, and like Dracula, unveils himself to the cheers and boos of many. “To be or not to be, that is the question,” Cesar loudly bellows, as he begins reciting the iconic monologue from William Shakespeare’s “Hamlet.”

The entire monologue. The whole thing.

The scene feels like a moment straight out of a spoof, but it’s nearly impossible to discern Coppola’s intentions. Later in the film, a scene involving a bow and arrow brings into question whether Coppola is working at a level of hyper-self-awareness or total obliviousness. A few viewers have drawn comparisons between “Megalopolis” and the satirical “Annette,” both cartoonish films starring Driver. However, the key difference is that Leos Carax (“Holy Motors”) is (perhaps annoyingly) hammy while Coppola seems to believe in the film’s message. When Driver makes an earnest but preachy speech about “thinking about the future” while LaBeouf delivers his best MAGA impression, it is impossible not to think that Coppola has at least some genuine thoughts about the state of America and the impermanence of present life itself. If we assume that “Megalopolis” is meant to be a reflexive satire, then what is it making fun of?

Regardless of intention, “Megalopolis” is still a gilded mess — and not in a productive way either. “Megalopolis’” budget is estimated to be around $120 million, and although the cinematography sure looks like money, everything else is sorely lacking. The editing constantly loses itself in the excess of camera coverage, and as a result, it is impossible to determine a scene’s sense of space and the film’s sense of time. At one point, Julia tails Cesar’s car while Clodio is also shown following a car. It’s not exactly clear whether he’s following Julia or Cesar — or why he’s even tailing either of their cars in the first place.

The same confusion extends to the characters, whose actions are completely unmotivated. What makes Cesar Catilina tick? Why does Julia fall in love with him? Why does Cicero even have beef with him? How does Wow Platinum fit into any of this? What is “TIME STOP”? What about life would be different under Cesar’s utopia? Likewise, the actors perform with the kind of spiritlessness that one would expect from such exhausted confusion. Emmanuel as Julia tries her best to make a one-dimensional character work but she serves as a muse for Cesar and nothing more. Surprisingly, the usually exceptional Driver delivers a lifeless performance, one in which he never looks happy even when the character is supposed to be. 

Strangely, that’s the appeal of “Megalopolis:” watching Coppola exhaust all of his creative whims into a film that nobody quite understands. For as fundamentally broken as “Megalopolis” is narratively, thematically and formally, it also happens to be an absolute riot. The film is chock-full of endless quotables and mind-boggling absurdity. It is bound for cult-classic status. In a few years, I wouldn’t be surprised if dedicated fans began memorizing the script and bringing their own T-squares to screenings. “Megalopolis” will become larger than itself, and I’m excited to see when that happens.

As it stands, “Megalopolis” fails to live up to its grandeur in every conceivable way. In its conception, the film likely reflected the state of America and possibly the state of the world itself. You could argue “Megalopolis” still reflects that — just not in the way that Coppola intended. The film is a disastrous spectacle, and I guess America is, too.

Daily Arts Writer Ben Luu can be reached at benllv@umich.edu.

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