The Sheinin women’s lives are all connected to tennis. Betsy Sheinin ignited this family connection mere decades ago at Harvard where her early adult life was defined by the sport. Now, as a mother to her older daughter Peri and younger daughter Bayley, she is reshaping her connection to the game.
Peri initially followed closely in her mother’s footsteps, remaining on the East Coast for college at Brown and continuing to pursue tennis professionally. Bayley also discovered a love for the sport, yet took her talents to the Midwest where she is currently a junior at Michigan and a star on its women’s tennis team.
While the Sheinins’ lives are intertwined with tennis, it does not define their relationship with one another. Because beyond just the sport, the family is driven by an admiration for one another’s character.
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Before becoming a mother to Peri and Bayley, Betsy’s aspirations were centered around her academic and athletic career. As a freshman at Harvard, the first thing that the New Englander did upon getting dropped off at her dorm was unpack her tennis racket and seek the comfort and community of the sport.
After spending four years playing varsity-level tennis for the Crimson, Betsy discovered that she maintained a great passion for the sport and wanted to continue to improve. However, after spending a year or so touring on the professional circuit after graduation, she discovered playing at that level was not what she expected.
“It was a lonely existence,” Betsy told The Michigan Daily. “It was difficult, and I realized that I was two levels below where you could make an adequate living to support yourself doing it. …I loved giving it a try, but ultimately I found that it was a ‘no.’ ”
The formative experience of learning that some affairs are simply a “no” showed Betsy that saying “no” can be just as transformative as saying “yes”. Currently retired from professional tennis and working as a veterinarian, Betsy couldn’t imagine her life any other way.
Understanding the need for separation in the different areas of her life is what made Betsy such a balanced mentor and mother to her daughters. Raising her daughters, she was adamant about avoiding any infliction of her “personal position” onto the girls by stifling them into tennis and would only advise them on the court if summoned.
“Having her be her is what motivated me more than her accolades, or playing college tennis or going pro — it’s her continued support and love,” Bayley told The Daily.
While it was of the utmost importance to Betsy that the girls would not be pressured into the sport, the Sheinin sibling duo was bitten by the tennis bug of their own volition.
Growing up in East Greenwich, R.I., Bayley was put into many different types of athletic pursuits at a young age, including tennis, to see if anything would stick for her. Not only did tennis stick, but so did gymnastics, rock climbing and swimming.
“I was all over the place with sports,” Bayley said. “I love being active, and I loved running around and doing random stuff.”
Ultimately, one sport ended up sticking — the same one that her mother introduced to the family all those years ago.
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Growing up with an older sister also instilled in Bayley the age-old aptitude for friendly sibling rivalry. This prompted her to take her interest in tennis to the next level as she knew she had to hone her talents in one sport to truly succeed in the way that she hoped to.
And as Bayley chose to channel her focus into tennis, the Sheinin sisters challenged each other on the court, rallying to near tears as emotions ran high.
“It’s really funny, I could never stand playing with my sister because I would get so mad and so upset when she would beat me,” Bayley said. “I just couldn’t handle it and I would be screaming and throwing my racket.”
But the sense of intensity that Bayley and Peri had across the net, while undeniably helpful to challenging one another to play at their best, was absent from the on-court relationship both girls have with their mother.
“Tennis parents can sometimes be very intense,” Bayley said. “My mom has always been chill with me. …She’s the most selfless, caring, amazing individual I know in my life, and I think our on-court relationship reflects that too.”
Betsy chose to forgo the movie-trope standard of carrying a basket of balls onto the court and forcing serve repetition until her daughters were perfect. Instead, her presence in Bayley’s tennis career spoke to her caring nature. Betsy’s main goal was to be “of service” to anything that Bayley needed, whether that be someone to feed balls, drive her to practice or offer the rare technical correction when asked. Oftentimes, her influence on Bayley’s tennis career was simply taking their family dog for a walk around the courts while she practiced to keep her company.
When Bayley began to take her tennis to the next level, her training became more individualized. Betsy’s role as a mother shifted from supporting Bayley as an athlete to helping her prepare to make larger life choices — an easy task due to Bayley’s naturally self-reliant nature.
“While I admire Bay’s significant athletic achievements, I am most proud of her strong character, work ethic and willingness to speak up for others when she senses unfairness or unkindness,” Betsy said.
Betsy’s pride in Bayley’s character over her accomplishments in the sports world speaks to her philosophy as a mother and the way that she shaped her daughters to become great people over great athletes.
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When making her college commitment, Bayley wanted to foster a sense of independence. Michigan provided a strong academic balance to the rigorous tennis program she was looking for, but even more importantly, it was far enough away from New England. Bayley moving to Michigan came as a welcome break to her family’s pattern of remaining on the East Coast for college.
Despite the physical distance between Bayley and her family, the strong bond she maintained with her mother has never wavered. Nearly every day the pair will talk on the phone, Betsy often relaying a witty anecdote about life back home or dishing out motherly advice. When Bayley returns home to visit, the relationship doesn’t miss a beat.
“I treasure any time that Bay is home,” Betsy said. “… She’s more than a mother could ever hope for as a daughter.”As Bayley progresses into her final year at Michigan, working toward her degree from the College of Engineering and continuing to play tennis at a high level, it is almost certain that there will be some informative “no”s in the next stage of her life, just like what her mom had. Fortunately, she’ll always have the strong pillar of support and unwavering love from Betsy to guide her — a love defined by the women’s relationship with each other, not their sport.
